There is a song that we sometimes sing at our church called "I Will Lift My Eyes." It’s by a talented writer named Bebo Norman. It’s a beautiful, reflective song. Every time we sing it I look over at my husband and see tears in his eyes. (He would probably hate that I am sharing this with you but he can just deal with it because it’s true.)
So I finally just broke down recently and asked, "Mike what is it about that song that moves you so much every time you hear it?" His response was very touching and so I want to share it with you.
As background, some of you may not know that when I was cast as part of The Biggest Loser my interaction with my family was completely limited for months. I didn’t get to call home. No letters at first. No e-mails. No nothing.
In fact, no one even knew specifically where I was. Mike only knew I was in California somewhere. And that there was a hotline he could call in case of emergency. It is an essential part of the experience for contestants so that we can really focus on the task at hand: losing a massive amount of weight—getting healthy—and changing our lives. I understand the reason for the mandated separation now.
Well, as my husband was holding down the fort without me—with our then 6-year-old son who didn’t really know where mommy was—he would go to church every week. And during that time they introduced the song "I Will Lift My Eyes" to the congregation.
The first line of the chorus says, "I will lift my eyes to the Maker of the mountains I can’t climb. I will lift my eyes to the Calmer of the oceans raging wild. I will lift my eyes to the Healer of the hurt I hold inside. I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to You."
Well, those lyrics obviously spoke to him in a very personal way. And as he explained them to me I began to tear up myself.
He said that the wife that he put on a plane to Los Angeles was morbidly obese. Walking up a flight of stairs was more than I could physically do. And he knew I would be forced to "climb mountains" and run races and exert myself physically far beyond what I was capable of doing in my own strength.
He knew that from watching the show that sometimes there was drama and game playing and that there was bound to be some "turbulence" somewhere a long the way and he suspected I would fight against "oceans raging wild" in a number of different areas.
And finally, he knew that this would be a process of soul searching and diving deep into some of the emotional hurts of my life. Eventually examining the reason I allowed myself to get in the unhealthy condition I was in. Because as I have come to believe, excessive weight is not always connected to a number on a scale—many times it’s emotional in origin and requires healing.
So this song covered all of the things that he knew I’d be facing. And it offered the hope that there is One who could meet all those needs.
Once he explained it, I understood. And now I won’t ever be able to hear that song without sharing the same emotional reaction.
So I encourage you today to determine the source of your strength. Tap into that strength and let it give you peace for your daily life. No matter what struggles, turbulence or hurt you may experience—you can "lift your eyes" and find hope to meet you at the point of your need.
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7 comments:
Thanks Julie! I don't think your husband will mind the share after he reads the blog!
Thanks for the post!
Hi Julie,
I found your blog through your site, which I found through a post on Rachelle Gardener's blog. Just had to stop by and let you know I'm a huge fan of The Biggest Loser and I admire you for what you have accomplished. How wonderful that you are reaching out to others. You are an inspiration.
Take care,
Genny
p.s. I love that song too!
Beautiful post. I love that song, too. You are an inspiration. (And it sounds like you have a great husband.) :)
I just rewatched your season on reruns on Fine Living. I'm skinny minnie but still suffering from severe diabetic complications. Trying so hard to stay motivated for exercise. It is the one aspect of diabetes management I just don't like.
Hi Julie,
I heard about you on R Gardner's blog so thought I'd stop by. :-) What a beautiful story to share!
I'm looking forward to reading about your experience. Thanks for sharing this!
Dear Julie, I found your blog after starting to read your book. I am now 3/4 of the way through it. I am not much of a reader but when I saw your book I knew I had to have it! On my birthday last week my Hubby took me to dinner and then to B&N to look at books. When I told him I wanted your book his comment was "How many books like that are you going to read?" My Husband is usually very supportive and kind, but he wasn't thinking at that moment (yet I knew he was right). Yet I knew the Lord wanted me to read THIS book, so my Dear Hubby bought it for me as my birthday gift. As I read your book I kept stopping and reading my Husband your quotes. The first chapter had me cracking up and then I realized how crazy similar our lives were - in all areas (spiritual, physical, and life) I kept saying ~ "she wrote my book Honey." Only there was one big difference - you got to go to TBL and I was still sitting at home feeling sorry for myself. I realized that last night when my Hubby said "why don't you get up and do your workout video" and my response was "no, I'm reading my book about weight loss...shouldn't that be enough?" We laughed, but I knew I was being convicted at that moment in time. It's as though I could hear God telling me ~ this is why you don't lose. You sit and feel sorry for yourself, when you need to get up and move more. That is when I read the part where you say "move more, eat less". Right then I stopped and prayed "Lord, show me how. Give me strength!" I always knew that He had more for me than this. The next day He put it on my heart to contact an old friend(I haven't seen her in 12 years) but I knew she was who I needed to talk to. On Face book I found her and asked her if she worked out still. She yes and sent me to her trainer who meets with a group of Gals 3 times a week (maybe more) and charges a fee that I can afford. I just know that my life is about to change. Thank you for writing your book! Thank you for being so transparent!
Thank you for letting God use you!
Thanks so much Julie for sharing. I too love that song. I recently finished the book that you wrote and found it very inspirational! I long to have that special relationship with our Lord and Savior that you described in your book...I feel like we are friends and that you totally "get" how hard life can be, but also how to live life to the fullest! I just wanted to say thanks for being so vunerable and strong at the same time to share your story. Many blessings to you and your family.
Deb
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