Campus Diary--Julie Hadden, Week 11

When else do you get to be in Salem with the one you love.

-- Thursday, November 29, 2007

7/18

Today was the best day we have had yet. Alison took us to “Days of our Lives”; I was a little ridiculous. I was over the top about Sammy Brady’s apartment. Then we all got head to toe makeovers. It was awesome. The best part was they told us to look into the mirror and then the mirror rolled back and my husband was standing there. Seeing him made an already great day the best ever. When else do you get to be in Salem with the one you love. Heh heh.7/19Back to the grind. Jillian was really excited for us (Being able to see our families). She wasn’t however happy about Isabeau voting off Amy. She said it was strategic suicide. I tried to tell Issy that we needed to keep all 5 members of the black team, but she said she couldn’t justify voting off B and leaving Amy. I will be honest, I think Jillian was right, we will all live to regret that move.

7/20

So… Guess what… I can’t climb. Today we had a challenge. We had to climb a never-ending rope. Yea… not so much my strong suit. I didn’t however come in last. (Something to be proud of.) Each week gets harder and harder, let’s just hope I stay above the real yellow line. That in and of itself is challenge enough.

7/21

Last chance workout!!!! I hate last chance workouts. Jillian is always in rare form. I guess I would say she was successful today, she got me to scream out loud and cry. That for her is progress.

7/22

Another dark day, yea!!!! The workouts are still brutal, but the atmosphere is more relaxed. In this house few things are ever relaxed, so these days are priceless to me. I also got to make a phone call home today. Hearing Noah tell me he loved me and missed me was hard to hear. Each week that part gets harder. It is not natural for a mother to leave her child. I just have to remember that at the end of this he will have a happier healthier mom. That is the only thing that keeps me going.

7/23

Tonight was the weigh in. Lets just say that I skated by with the hair of my chinny chin chin. Yikes. Either Kae or Nicole are going home. It is so sad, at this point everyone is really close and it wont be easy to say goodbye to either one of them. This game is only getting harder. Who wants to send someone home when they are so close to their dreams.

7/24

If you want me come and get me… Really Neil….Really????? And when I get you then what? I tell you what, when I do get you, I am gonna steal your money and take it all the way to the bank. I would however think about giving you a job.. As my driver, of my Suv that is, Mr. I never won a challenge!!!!.

Campus Diary--Julie Hadden, Week 10

I have to admit, it was fun getting a sugar rush, but not worth what Jillian is going to do to us tomorrow.

7/11

Today, on Biggest Loser, we ate doughnuts. They were fantastic. Guess who won the $5,000? Bill! Imagine that. I have to admit, it was fun getting a sugar rush, but not worth what Jillian is going to do to us tomorrow.

7/12

Dark day!!! Loved it. The Blue and Red team left for the day so it was really quiet around here. Hollie and I joked that it will be much nicer when they are gone permanently. He he he All joking aside, things are getting really serious around here. Everyone is cracking down. Stinks for me because I have to work twice as hard to loose half the weight. It will be worth it in the end though.

7/13

Today was challenge day. It was a triathalon. I only made it through the spinning part.I was trying to get Hollie through the competition so that she could win in the swimming portion. I knew that if she won the immunity that it would knock a big threat below the yellow line. The surprise was she could pick a friend to go home and receive immunity also. Guess who she picked? Yep …. ME!!!!!!!! I can’t believe it. I am gonna get to see my family. Thank you Thank you Thank you. I LOVE HOLLIE!!!!

7/14

Words cannot describe what it felt like to see Mike and Noah. I feel like I live in two separate worlds. My head lives on Campus and my heart lives in Jacksonville. It was a double edged sword to say the least. It was awesome to go home and horrible to leave. It did however make me realize why I came here in the first place. To change my life and the life of my family. Unfortunately I can’t do that at home.

7/15

Leaving Mike and Noah was the toughest thing I have ever done. Watching them cry as I left just about ripped my heart out. I am more determined than ever to get to the end. I will not leave them in vain. Everyday at this campus is a gift and I need to be here as long as possible. The thing that drives me now is knowing that I have a family at home that loves me and is waiting for me. That is what I will focus on when I’m working out for 5 hours a day.

7/16

Well… I lost nothing at the weigh-in. YIKES!!!! How embarrassing. I have never been so thankful for immunity. I guess going home is gonna be harder than I thought. I am scared that leaving this campus is going to change everything. These next few weeks I plan on gleaning whatever information I can from Jillian so that next time I return home I will be more successful than this time. I really hope that I can stay. I have to stay above that yellow line. Whatever it takes.

7/17/07

Well… Drama!!! Isabeau turned her back on Amy and voted her out. OOUCH. I want to see what Jillian will have to say about that. Should be interesting. I really hope it doesn’t come back to bite Issy in the butt (or me for that matter). Personally I think that B was the bigger threat, but he is a really great guy and I can’t say I would want him gone. At this point, saying goodbye to anyone will be hard. (well… maybe not anyone….)

Campus Diary--Julie Hadden, Week 6

I can make progress or I can make excuses.

-- Tuesday, October 30, 2007

06/06/07

Today was especially brutal. Jillian does not like losing players so she is determined we will WIN this next weigh-in. I thought I was pretty determined too, well until I hit my fourth hour of butt kicking. OUCH! I literally can’t raise my arms and don’t even get me started on my broke down legs. You know what though? She’s right. Not one thing I did in that gym today hurt worse than sending Jim home. Dang – I hate it when she’s right.

06/07/07

My arms hurt, my knees hurt, my ankles hurt, my back hurts, my joints hurt, my stomach hurts…get the point? Days like today are pretty typical, I just have to keep reminding myself that this is a blessing. Opportunities like this do not come around very often. Pain is part of the process. I have two choices – I can make progress or I can make excuses. Pain or no pain, this time I’m making progress.

06/08/07

Today was our challenge. The prize was a video from home. Ask me if I saw my video…uh, that would be NO! Guess who won the challenge? Red team, oooh surprise surprise. They have won 5 out of 6 challenges. Oops, did I say “they”? Sorry…I meant Phil has won 5 out of 6 challenges. Seriously…why are they here? He doesn’t need them. I know I know – bitter much? I just really wanted that video. OK, get off my back. Sorry Phil, I hope you enjoy your video! THERE now are ya’ll happy?

06/09/07

Today was a really bad day for our team. Jillian had to break the news to Hollie that her mother only had a few days to live. It was so incredibly sad. I know she really needs to be with her mom but I also know what this opportunity means to her. I have no idea how this horrible tragedy will end, but I hope that Hollie will be at peace with whatever choice she makes. If mother dies, she will die knowing what a beautiful daughter she has inside and out.

06/10/07

Today was the first day we got to make phone calls. It was absolutely fantastic. I hadn’t heard my husband’s voice in 7 weeks. Just hearing him say “I love you” was better than any prize they could give me. Knowing that the people you love most in life are rooting for you, praying for you and supporting you gives you renewed strength. Strength to “finish what I’ve started” for once.

6/11

Today was a weigh-in. I hate weigh-in days. They are so nerve wracking. I lost 4 pounds. Not bad, not great but hey, I’ll take it. This week was a really rough week for our team, but fortunately we won’t have to be in the elimination room. Nothing is worse than that room. Just the thought of that creepy place gives me the heeby jeebys.

6/12/07

Tonight, Phil was eliminated, not by his own team, but by the Blue Team. It was a tie. It will be weird to not see him everyday. Who will I pick on in my blogs? Who will win all the challenges for the Red Team? Just kidding Red Team. Seriously though, he will be missed. The ironic thing about this game is that he was eliminated for doing a great job. How bad does that stink? He went home because he was the best.

Campus Diary--Julie Hadden, Week 5

Can’t wait to see what vacation with Jillian will be like.
-- Thursday, October 11, 2007

5/28/07
Today was a long day. Early this morning we worked out, packed and then headed to the airport. I’m so glad we got there nice and early, otherwise we might have missed our 5 hour late flight. Yeah that’s right 5 hours late. Did you know it takes 6 ½ hours to get from California to Jamaica? Six hours of sitting next to a woman who obviously had a bladder problem, loved to talk and had questionable depth perception. Fun, fun, fun. By the time I got there I felt as tired as a one-armed paper hanger. Can’t wait to see what vacation with Jillian will be like.

5/29/07
Okay Jamaica is gorgeous. It was worth the drama of getting here. We had dinner with Alison. It was the first time we got to hang out with her. She’s great. This place is truly paradise. I only wish my husband could be here with me. We could lay out on the beach and listen to the wind blow, sip some fruity drink, hold hands. Instead I’ll be running football drills in the sand and I can see it now, at some point I will be facedown in the sand with Jillian yelling something like: “Do another one or you’ll die where you lay!”

5/31/07
Today we had our massages. It was fantastic. I really needed that. In this game you get beat up everyday and it was nice to just be pampered. It was even nicer being pampered while the other teams were being tortured by their trainers. Oops…was that mean? Oh well, they should have won the challenge. He he he.

6/1/07
Goodbye Jamaica…I hate to leave this place. It is so beautiful. Back to life on campus. It feels like being out for summer break and having to go back to school. YUCK!

Campus Diary--Julie Hadden, Week 4

"I was really tired. Not just normal tired, but trouble-walking tired."

-- Wednesday, October 03, 2007

5/18
For some strange reason today I was really tired. Not just normal tired, but trouble walking tired. I guess it’s all-just catching up with us because everyone else seems to feel the same. I’m going to try to go to bed early tonight. Maybe that will help. We had a temptation tonight. They tried to tempt the trainers with cupcakes. Yeah right, Jillian wouldn’t budge. I think they could have offered her a million dollars and she still wouldn’t eat them. It was the principal of the whole thing. She is trying to teach us about making wise choices and taking a bribe at the sake of your health wasn’t worth it. Good for her. Its great to know she practices what she preaches.

5/19
Guess what? I’m still alive, barely. I can’t believe a body can physically go through so much and survive. For most of us, it is the first time we have felt proud of ourselves in a long time. No amount of money can measure up to having self-esteem. Not even $250,000.

5/20
Today was a dark day. Dark days are fantastic. There are no cameras to follow your every step. I would tell you what I did, but I would have to kill you. There were no cameras to document it. He He He!

5/21/07
Today was a challenge day. They made me sit out because I don’t run as fast as everyone else. At first I was disappointed, but when I saw Hollie wipe out on that mountain I was kinda glad I didn’t have to do it. She was covered in blood and gravel. I guess having short legs isn’t so bad after all.

5/22/07
Today was our “last chance workout”. Sounds morbid, huh? It is!!! The sad thing is, even if we were to keel over and die, Jillian would probably still drag our dead bodies onto that scale tomorrow. She would giggle and say: “Poor Julie, God rest her soul, at least she lost another three pounds.”

5/23
Still here! Tonight we won the weigh-in. It was great. I actually lost 7 pounds. That’s right…7 pounds. It was sad that the Blue Team has to send someone home, but at least we can be together for another week. It makes all our hard work worthwhile. Hey, did I mention I lost 7 pounds?

5/24
Tonight the Blue Team eliminated Patty. That stinks. She was so sweet with every person who leaves, it gets tougher around here. You grow to love these people and it hurts to see them leave. I hope next time I see Patty; she is wearing a size 8 and showing off her gorgeous smile. She will definitely be missed.

Campus Diary: Julie Hadden, Week 3

"Yikes! I never knew a person could miss pizza so much."

5/12/07

Today was our first temptation. Yikes! I never knew a person could miss pizza so much. When I saw it sitting there it was like seeing a long lost friend. Kind of explains why I’m here, right?

5/13/07

Today was emotional. Being away from my only child on Mother’s Day really hurt. I kept thinking about how he probably made some cute little card and had no one to give it to. It’s hard on days like these to stay focused, but I know it will all be worth it in the end.

5/14/07

Today we got our butts handed to us on a plate by a bunch of kids! How bad is that? It’s bad enough to lose to another team…but to a kid who can’t even spell challenge…Yikes! Next time yellow team…Next time! 5

5/15/07

Today was our last chance workout. Last chance that is…for our trainer to drain every last drop of energy from our limp body than heave us on some torturous device and bring us to the brink of death. Sweet Sanjaya! Tomorrow we’ll probably start by digging our own graves. Ah…good times.

5/16/07

Today was our weigh in and my 35th birthday. I told my whole team that all I wanted for my birthday was for us to stay together. Thank heaven I got my wish. We were all so happy! Well, happy until we saw the faces of the Blue Team. I felt so sorry for them. I know this is a game, but sending some one home is no joke. It looks a lot easier on TV. I think tonight, instead of thanking god for our victory, I’m gonna spend my time asking god to give them an overwhelming sense of peace. I get the feeling we’re going to need their prayers soon enough.

5/17/07

Today was a really brutal day for me. Not just physically but emotionally. My son graduated from kindergarten today. OUCH! As a parent you live for moments like that. Hopefully being here will one day make up for all the things I’m missing. It’s worth it to think of a lifetime of happy and healthy memories that I’ll get to share with my familyToday the Blue Team eliminated Jerry. It was a sad day for everyone here. Personally, I think the Blue Team made a poor strategic choice, but then again it wasn’t my decision. We’ll see what happens next.

Campus Diary: Julie Hadden, Week 2

Today Jillian told me I was gonna walk until my legs fell off. Ha Ha Ha Ha. I thought she was kidding, not so much. By the end of the day I was walking like a new born giraffe. That Julian…she’s a barrel of laughs.

Campus Diary: Julie Hadden Week 1

“I’m glad I didn’t know how hard it was gonna be because if I know me, I never

APRIL 24TH

“For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord Plans to Prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a future and a HOPE.”Jeremiah 29:11Today was the day. The day that will change everyday for the rest of my life. Words can’t describe what it felt like to finally hear the words “ You are going to the ranch” I was overwhelmed. Tears immediately began to flow. How does your mind grip around all these emotions at one time? A dream was coming true right before my eyes. How can I live without my husband and son for potentially four months? How am I gonna endure the pain I know I am about to face. Then an overwhelming sense of peace and thankfulness came over me J.D. told us that each of us was here for a reason I am gonna spend the next week, month, whatever trying to figure what that reason God has allowed this once in a lifetime opportunity, this second chance, for a reason. I have felt hopeless for a long time (about my weight), and thought for the first time I actually believe Jeremiah 29:11 not just in my head, but in my heart . I have hope. I have a future.



APRIL 25TH

(Climbing in the desert) Today I was one big ball of nerves. What would our first day be like? We drove for what seemed like hours, only to arrive in the middle of nowhere. Seriously… We were surrounded by dirt and cactus. First thing we had to do on camera was climb a steep hill covered by sand. “The first time up, I was panting so hard I could have blown tumbleweed across the plain. Yikes, I felt parts of me that I have not felt in years. I wanted to quit so bad, but was too embarrassed to. Dang it, if they can do it, so can I. You know what, the second third and fourth weren’t as bad. I felt proud of myself and everyone else. We did it!! And miraculously we all survived. I never thought I would say this but it actually felt good to break a sweat. I will sleep like a baby tonight. This will be the first day that I will not go to bed feeling defeated. It may have been hard, but I did it! I conquered that hill nothing could feel better.



APRIL 26TH

Let the games begin. Today was an emotional rollercoaster to say the least. You made it,…No you’re going home if you do not win the race through the desert. Sorry…we didn’t pick you…you are not good enough. Then like a Knight on a white horse. JILLIAN!! Words could never express how it felt to see her. All hope was gone, then in an instant it was back with a vengeance. Redemption in a leather jacket, jeans and some kickin boots. I cried like a baby. I couldn’t stop the tears.The Black Team…How appropriate. I love Black. I know we will kick some serious BOOTY!! Although Jillian does scare me a tiny bit YIKES.



APIRIL 27TH

First day of training PURE HELL…. I’m too tired to write anything else.



APRIL 28TH

Today during the brutal beating at the gym. Jillian had a heart to heart with me. She asked me why I was here, what was my goal. I told her I was to lose weight. That wasn’t good enough for her. She wanted deeper. If I don’t know what it is in life. What I am working toward then I am just being tossed in the wind. I told her that I feel selfish for being here (deep down)… She said taking care of yourself is never selfish. That dying at a young age and not being there for my child would be more selfish. She gave me a lot to think about. Why am I here, what is it I want out of life?



April 30th

Today we took a spinning class, needless to say I can barely walk. (They should really make those seats softer, not to mention bigger.) We were all exhausted afterwards when Jillian told us we were gonna go straight from our spinning class to hike Runyan. I thought hiking… that sounds like fun. …..WRONG!!!!!It was a stinkin mountain! When I looked up at that thing, I thought…She has lost her mind. I was panting just getting up the ramp to the entrance.Half way up when she told us we were ½ way there I seriously thought about quitting. Just giving up and dissolving into a pile of tears but I was too afraid of what Jillian would do She can be scary. Then I briefly thought about pushing her over the cliff, sitting down and having a snack. (Just kidding)Eventually I made it. It sucked to be the last one up, but I made it. To be honest I didn’t care who was first or last, I was just trying to catch my breath and not die. The pain really was excruciating. When we finished Jillian told us she was taking us to lunch. Wow…our first fun outing. Well… excited until she told us after lunch we had two more hours of cardio. So close…We should have known. That woman is a machine. You know what though…we were all still alive! BARELY!!!



May 4TH

Today my legs/knees hurt more than I could ever have imagined! I literally cried today because of the pain! I have no idea how I will make it through tomorrow. Everyday I pray for God to give me supernatural strength. I want to do my very best, but I don’t want to end up harming my legs permanently. This show is definitely not for wussies. You know … I’m glad I didn’t know how hard it was gonna be because if I know me, I never would have stepped on that plane.